I know, I know. The subject doesn't make much sense, does it? But really, it does. My dreams have been so violent lately. Filled with imagine of death and destruction...and, if I didn't wake up in time, I am positive it would show my own demise. What I don't understand is why. I'm safe where I am right now. There is no one actively trying to hurt me, at least not physically. And yet...I can't shake it. This sense of foreboding is too much for me to handle right now. There is so much going on and I'm concerned that these dreams aren't so much a literal warning as some sick form of foreshadowing. But foreshadowing what? Is someone around me going to be violently attacked? Am I? Or am I finally going to slip over the edge and just...slit my wrists and be done? I mean, I realize I have a fascination with blood. The sight, the texture, the warmth...the taste. And it's no secret that I have been treated violently in the past. I have also tried to take my own life. But these dreams feel...different, somehow. And they're so vivid and feel so real that sometimes I wake up completely shocked that my sheets aren't covered in blood. I do wake up in pain. I can feel everything that happens. And I just. I don't know. It's freaking me out. It's freaking me out badly and I don't know how to stop it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
These dreams worry and frighten me, and I really, really wish they would stop and go away. Perhaps they were triggered by something? I mean, they started to just happen...but if they weren't triggered, maybe it's Sel's fears? Things with terrify her? I mean it's her and Lulu...I don't know what to make of them and reoccurring nightmares are the worst...the only way mine went away was when I changed bedrooms...but I don't think it'll help in this case. I dunno hon, but I want them to disappear...
ReplyDelete