Strange...

Right now, I feel this incredibly strong urge to sit here and pour my heart out onto this "blank page" in front of me, but for some reason, I can't find the words. They're just not there, or if they are I can't see them. Can't hear them. Can't force them to come out. It's frightening for someone like me to lose the words to describe how they feel inside. It's the only outlet I have left, beyond adding more physical scars to an already overly scarred-inside and out-individual. Then again, I'm not even sure my blade would make me feel any better right now; lately, there seems to be no way to relieve the stress, sadness and pain I've become trapped in once again. I suppose it doesn't help that I am mentally and physically exhausted right now, either. Three and a half weeks until I can have even a small "break" from this place is far too long for me in my current condition and state of mind, but what can I do? Do my best to tighten the strings and hold it together until I can find a way to breathe again, that's what...unfortunately, I fear my best may not be good enough. Not even close, this time.

*sigh*

Why do I feel like I was just told to pretty much shut up and go elsewhere with my problems in one of the few places where I've felt comfortable actually sharing my feelings? Bah.

It's a sad, sad state of affairs when the most "selfish" thing I can think to do is go to bed early when I get home from work.