Ouch...

Haha, wow. I don't know how this has never hit me before. I wish it hadn't hit me now. It feels like a big slap in the face. Awesome.

...I must be a moron or something.

Of course we have to keep this a secret. I've known that from the very beginning. I've known...and even if I don't like it, I have to accept it. This is what is best for her. All I want is for her to be happy. This is what she wants, and therefore, I will give it to her. Because I will give her whatever she wants, always. Always and forever...

But...is it wrong that it stings that I can't put something simple like "You make me not the same me that I used to be, you save me...I'm more me than I could ever be without you. Without you and me, must be meant to be..." <3 as my facebook status? I mean, I realize it's facebook. Who cares. So I can't have the status I want. What's the big deal?

...but it is a big deal, to me. It is a big deal because I want the world to know that I love her. That I am happy. That I finally have someone who loves me for me. And instead, I have to keep it a secret. I have to watch every word that I type or say very carefully for fear of someone finding us out.

What a crappy feeling...