...all I want to do right now is sit at my desk, mind my own business, listen to my iPod and try desperately not to cry. I feel so sick and my entire body hurts so badly and instead of just leaving me alone, they're forcing me to go work in one of the busiest areas in the lab... I would love to simply scream at them and tell them what happened last night, but we all know that I don't have that luxury...instead, I have to keep my mouth shut, paint on the ever present fake smile, and torture myself for the next several hours. I hate this. I hate having to hold all of this pain inside. I hate that I can't tell anyone about the Hell that I'm going through. I hate that I have to carry this burden alone and try to pretend that everything is alright when it's really, really not...
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*cuddles*...I hate it too. I'd love it if you could just tell them but I know it's not that simple at all and that you don't want them to hurt. I wish they knew how much you protected them but to know that, they'd have to know the truth and that's not something you want to let them know about, which is understandable, given what's happened in the past and such. Know that I am here and you can tell me everything. You never have to pretend around me because I know better. And I love you...both of you. You are yourselves and nothing is more special in this Hellish reality <3
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