Why can't I simply be happy for him? Why does it all have to turn inward and make me feel like shit, which, in turn, makes me feel like a horrible, selfish person? He deserves this. He's worked his ass off. And I truly am so, so happy for him. I would never, ever let him or anyone else around me know how this makes me feel about myself, because that would be completely unfair. These feelings of inadequacy have nothing to do with him. He is not the one who made me a complete and utter failure at anything that would actually make my family proud of me. I did that all by myself.
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*sighs* It's hard to feel content about a situation like this when your own achievements get brushed aside like yesterday's news. And that does hurt, especially after all the time and effort one can put into an endeavor or goal, only to have it ignored as though it's not even recognisable as an achievement. I know that you try really, REALLY hard to get your family to see just how incredible and special you are. It truly is their loss though, that they can't see just how amazing and unique you are...maybe they'll come to their senses, I hope at least.
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