"My heart is nothing more than a twisted mess of scars and wounds that will never, ever heal..."
I seem to be doing a damn good job of convincing everyone (myself included?) that I'm alright. Funny, isn't it? I have people surrounding me who want to help me, and yet I can't bring myself to let them. For the first time in my life, I don't have to deal with this shit alone, and yet, I can't let anyone in. What's wrong with me? Am I really that masochistic? Or is this another one of those, as my mother likes to put it, "martyr" things that I try to play? I don't know...I mean, a part of me would give anything to let them in, to let them help me, but the rest of me can't bear to put them through that pain. Not after everything I've just put them through. I've done it on my own before, I can do it again, right? ...right?
"...and every day I fall a little further, trying to forget that this pain is real."
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You already know that you can tell any of us anything and we'll listen and do our very best to help, and that includes the painful subjects that you'd rather not tell us for fear of hurting us. The thing is though we want to help so badly that we've disregarded how it'll make us feel because we just want to help you and to better understand. We are here and we don't mind the pain, so long as you open up to us and let us help. We understand why you don't sometimes but just know that it's okay to tell us, no matter how much you think it may harm us. We want to know. We ant to help, because we love you. <3
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