*sigh*

There are only so many times I can say "It's fine" and actually make myself believe it when I know deep down in my heart of hearts that it's just not true.

 

Here's looking forward to yet another long, lonely weekend next weekend. Hoo-rah.

...

Don't try to tell me I'm crazy. I already know. If you think that you're going to insult me by simply pointing out the obvious, you're going to be sorely disappointed. I will simply look you in the eyes, smile and thank you from the very bottom of my soul. And you know what? It takes one to know one.

...

Time to get used to being alone...

Help...

The more this is all sinking in, the more my heart is breaking. It hurts. And there's no pill to cure this pain...

*sigh*

To Whom it May Concern,

 

Please, give me the strength to lie to him. It's for his own good.

Deep, cleansing breaths...

...in and out. In...and...out...

 

I seriously do not know how much more I can handle.

...AHAHAHA

Ok, so that turned out to be easier than I thought. Well, as far as having the opportunity present itself to me, anyway. I'm pretty sure Nicole is pissed at me now, but I expected that. I really don't know what she's gonna say to Rick. I almost don't want to know. I mean, I know I'll find out, but...yeah. It's just gonna get uglier. Thank God for corners. I can hide in them.

Arrggghhhh

Blah. I don't wanna go to work today. Not because of work, but because of what I have to attempt to do for my brother. I don't want to piss Nicole off, I really don't. But Rick deserves answers. *sigh* Why am I so stupid? Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut? I mean, I realize that he deserves to know the truth, but what if there's really nothing to know? And how the fuck am I supposed to start this conversation with her? Just walk up to her and be like "Hey, gotta ask...you still screwing your husband?" ;_; Kill me.

Hmmm...

I still have this very uneasy, sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can't seem to shake it. It started last night while I was at work for no good reason at all, and it's really only gotten worse since then. I wish I knew what it was about. I wish I even had the slightest clue, but I don't. I've got nothing. Maybe it's just because there is so much going on in my life and the lives of people around me right now, things that could truly make or break people's whole worlds. I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy. Not such a bad thing, I suppose. Didn't we decide that crazy sometimes pays off? *sigh* I think it might be time to start taking the meds again, kids. Woopdiddyfuckingdoo. HA!